projecting

I wanna be in love with someone whose heart is on fire.

 

I wanna be in love with someone who has been cracked open, spilt out, bright yellow yolk, running into the cracks of an infinity tunnel. Hammer to stone, fingernails to cement, breaking through into an overcast day, casting a stubborn shadow.

 

I wanna be in love with someone who has had to hold the fragments of their absolute idol. Grinning and bearing it as the shards pierce flesh, knowing that this is their burden to bear because there is nobody else. Someone who has wanted to be held but has had to hold.

 

I wanna be in love with someone who has danced with self destruction and spat in its face. Has had to sweat until most of the grime has gone, can recognise a smile from years ago of the most weathered of faces, endless and boundless and emotional and fucking aware.

 

I wanna be in love with someone who sees blood on the pavement and mourns and then fights. Hope is not just sunshine hitting your cheek on a December morning or the sweet scent of turning away, hope is shaking voices rising together or not counting on someone else to do it or making love when you know that the world is going to end.

 

I wanna be in love with someone who has seen that the modern projection of love that we run through our heads on rusted film reels is causing us all to rot from within, heavy bodies soaked in expectation, but I wanna be in love with someone who tries

regardless.

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projecting

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