I want to chase perfection until my mind has been left behind and my body is folded over on itself, rivulets of my own skin.
I will stand by the sea and try to take that colour blue hostage, lock it in my pupils
So that when you look at me you’ll see nothing but ocean floor and you’ll fall deep.
I will gaze at the sun on an overcast day and its feeble warmth will seep into my pores,
Next time that we meet I will grasp your hand and you will feel like a beloved friend is embracing you so openly you think you might cry.
I might even tell you that I love you,
You will moan low until the forest shadow dips down to meet the city
It will be the greatest lie the trees have ever seen.
She was as curious as she was brave
So when he offered her a seat inside the curls of his smile she took one
He trickled honey down her thighs and then licked it off her before it could
Through the floorboards
She was as brave as she was hopeful
So when he tattooed his name to her wrist she polished it until it glistened
He twisted and peeled her away with a pocket knife “but,” she said, “I am
Can’t you see that I am whole.”
She was as hopeful as she was practical
So when she ran away from his surgery to find and devour the scraps of herself
She cried. She cried until she felt clean.
If there was a perfect way to claw yourself inside a person and expand until their ribcage fractured, this would be it.
I’ll fuck with you for a night
That human part that should feel empathy has been sucked whole out of me, I have been raked clean and a dry July wind rattles around inside a smooth hollow.
When you discover how to own people it owns you
I have two versions of self in this argument: one of them is drinking in ragged gulps of her own tears whilst the other is holding her back on a piece of twine looking bored
I want to find community but damn, all I can get wrapped up in is myself
I will fuck with you until you feel like you’re spitting chunks of your own stomach out in front of me and I’m challenging you to give me more
They teach you that good and evil are binary but then you realise that in order to meet your own expectations you have to blur them until you don’t want to know yourself anymore.